- Possible humiliation
- Fear
- What people will say
- What the person you like will think
- How it may impact you in the future
- Too hard
But, when you look back at the oppurtunity that you just missed you think to yourself, was it really worth it? Why did I not give it a go?
One of the worst feelings in the world is REGRET! When you look back at life and you realise all the things you have missed, you can really get down because you wonder about the the "if's", "what's" and "why's". When I say "look back" I don't mean you have to be a million years old, I mean just at the end of the day, month, year, season etc.
It is important in life to give things a go and to enjoy life. Throughout your life you will have read thousands of positive quotes, inspirations and sign that tell you to "be happy"! These can get very tiring of seeing, but they can also majorly help you out. Growing up, this was really hard for me. I found that I was almost always socially insecure and awkward and as I got to the teenager stage, started to worry way to much about how I looked and how everything or anything I did would impact me. Not only was a socially challenged, I would very easily get upset and angry and once I was in a mood it was near impossible to get me out of that mental ditch.
Being positive, taking up opportunities and overall enjoying life is extremely difficult. You can't just tell yourself to be happy and HEY presto you're fixed. It has to come from deep inside you and it takes a very, very long time.
Ways to help you are everywhere. They can be simple things or major differences that you have to make in your life. A few of my top tips are:
1. Never do something because you are told to.
Of course this has its limits with things such as paying bills and doing homework but I mean things like dating someone, buying something, joining something or pretending to be someone that you are not. Decisions have to be made by you and they are what makes you into being you. As you get older you have to start making more important life decisions and if you have always been told what you can and can't do, it becomes very messy!
2. Be you!
Wear what you want, buy what you want, see who you want, act like you want and overall be you want to be. When you are growing up you are constantly being told that you are "trying to act older", "trying to look older then you are" and those sorts of things. When you are 5 you want to be 15, when you are 10 you want to be 16 and it might just be that when you are 13 you want to be like all the other 13 year olds.
You soon realise that everyone has their own thing going for them. The world doesn't just run to your accordance. When you see someone and you think they are 'perfect' or 'normal' you are just putting yourself in a negative mind frame. As Dr Seuss one said, 
If you want to wear something, wear it. If you want to buy something, buy it. If you want to hang out with someone, hang out with them. Remember that 'all' the 'other' people are not real people, no two people are alike and remember that there are always millions of people in the same boat as you are. It might help if you can relate or just chat to a person going through the same thing as you. Most people are insecure so even the people you think are the most secure, may be personally very insecure on the inside.
3. Surround yourself with positive things.
If there is a picture on the wall that reminds you of a sad time, take it down and replace it with a new picture. Fill your bags, pencil cases, drawers etc. with things that make you smile. It can be simply a book that is really nice that you see everytime you take something out of your bag, a picture in your drawer or locker, or a sentimental object that you can see and smile at. I used to have a pencil grip that I have had on my pens for years that an old friend had given to me. Everytime I used a pen I would remember him and think of his kindness and all the good times we had had together. It is also really important to surround yourself with happy, positive, kind and caring people. Being stuck in a bad friendships or relationships soon takes a toll on your whole life. If you don't like being who you are with or the group of people you spend your days with, let them know and break away. If you stay with people because you are scared of being by yourself at break time, take up a new hobby that takes up some of your schedule, try to make friends with different people (I found this so hard so I sound a bit hypocritical but if you try, you may realise that you are majorly missing out. I spent years not liking my favourite best friend because I never gave her a chance) or simply find something else to do with your time. If you are at school or work there is always something that you can go on with. If you then feel like you spend your whole life studying or being by yourself, give your old friend/s a go but only hang out with them once a week or so. A great tip that I use is to always have something at home that will calm, relax and excite you. Wether it be a favourite onesie, or a show you like to watch, always have something that can help you to get through the day. I have a favourite onesie that after a stress filled day I can pop on and I can relax and debrief.
4. Write a manual to happiness.
All of this that I have written, has come from my heart and mind and has nothing to do with what I have heard, seen or read. It will help you if you try to write a manual to happiness or something similar. Wether it be advice for you personally or maybe you try to write it for someone else, give it a go! You can write your positive advice on note cards and place them all around your bedroom, bathroom, house, locker etc. Try to take some of you own advice if you do write it down. If you don't want to write a manual, don't. It can be a blog post, a video, a quote or even just a long thought discussion with a friend or yourself.
5. Who cares?
Lots of the time you can feel that everyone is looking at you and judging you. In most cases this is very unlikely. Lots of people feel this way, so when you feel this way, are you staring and judging other people? Most people care more about themselves, what people think about them, how they look, rather then picking on other people. If people are staring at you, own it. They might just be staring at you because they are either a) Awing over you great looks, b) looking at something on you and thinking "OMG! I have to find out where she got that", or c) being plain rude and nosy. If people are being rude and nosy, brush it off. Sometimes it helps to just walk away, stare in another direction, show that that you really do not care about what they are doing and even it might help to physically shake or brush it off. You can pretend you have a hair or something on your shoulder that you are brushing off, or just give a little shake. It can really help! Remember that if you make mistakes, it will not effect the rest of your life. Some people think that because when they were 12 and they went around a shopping mall with their skirt tucked up in their undies, everyone in the whole entire universe is going to remember that incident and shame you for the rest of your life. Be honest and reasonable with yourself, can you even remember what was said yesterday at the dinner table? Probably not, so how on earth are other people, whom you don't know (or do know, it won't make much difference) going to remember one little mistake you made years ago. If you are still feeling stuck, go and check out the Sabrina the Teenage Witch TV episode where Sabrina is so embarrassed about farting or something like that, that all these major things change in her life until she realises that it really wasn't that big a deal.
I hope that this post has helped you as writing this has really helped me. If you know someone that could do with this advice or is struggling, share this post with them or call a helpline to help you, help them through this difficult time.
Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800
Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636
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